| i dread to think what the soya kinder eggs taste like |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|02:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | faggy towers | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | some 80's shite that deb has on | ] |
oh yeah, so i decided to come back for a short while...nothing too taxing, just a little jaunt for anyone that might still look at this fucking thing.
i live on a sofa in a lovely house...probably the loveliest house i've ever lived in. crystal and i found it utterly impossible to live together in such a small room, plus i'm not the easiest person to live with, so i moved out. we're still good though, infact it's better than ever!
so the house is vegan, something i learned to love immediately after my first mouthful of experimental tofu burger. i don't really understand why people can't imagine being vegan, it's piss easy if you're cooking at home...admittedly it's a bit of a shit when you're out and about. the transition from hardcore carnivore to 'pre-vegan' has been pretty easy for me, i've been off the meat properly for a few weeks now...don't get me wrong though, if the meat industry was fair and good, i would most likely be eating meat right now...well, not right this second!
after a lot of careful consideration, i've decided that anti-depressants are not for me. i'm tired of having tiny parts of my personality stolen away. this may seem a little radical, but i've decided to treat myself with hallucinogenic drugs. this method isn't for everyone, but in the past few months when things have felt at rock bottom, a good trip has helped to sort things out. i'm not afraid of them, i respect them and every trip has a specific purpose. many of my good friends are in support of this method of treatment, and with time i feel that i might get on top of all the things i've promised to work on.
there's one thing that always strikes me as amusing and a little bit sad when i look over my journals - i always talk about the great things i'm doing to change my life...and then i quit those things. what can i say?
i'm tired of this already...i can't even be bothered to proof read it, i'm going for a walk while the sun is still shining.
sal
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| still ticking. |
[Feb. 18th, 2007|11:25 pm] |
perhaps i should use my lj more often, but it's not all that satisfying anymore. soon i shall complete resident evil four and will be left without any kind of gaming goodness until the release of the mighty GOD OF WAR II! OH YES! so mayhap, after the zombies are all gone, i shall take my place around the table of lj once more...it's the small, slightly challenged table at the back...that's square H-8 on your maps and battleships boards.
i'm not drinking...still.
it makes me incredibly happy and slightly more wonderful to have around. bully for me, eh? i'm also reading more, sticking at things i promise to do (like re-turf the garden!), and i brush my teeth in the morning AND in the night. i've started going to guided meditation (because i'm not blessed with a tranquil garden anymore), it's still not as easy as it used to be to switch off, but it always takes practice after a long hiatus.
i'm bleached blonde now, but i think everybody already knows that. i'm suffering from dangerously long roots at the moment, but they haven't gone past the point of no return just yet, so i'm still holding the cool hair thing together.
oh, and finally, before crystal starts to get lonely and wonder why the tea is taking so very long to brew, i'm going to be doing a degree. it's not at a great uni and it's not going to get me any kind of job, but i've waited fucking long enough for another chance at education and i refuse to waste my time at a lower level...my attempt at college earlier this year was a fucking joke! never before in my life have i been surrounded by such complete and utter retards. sorry, but i think anyone under the age of eighteen should be shot...i mean, i wasn't like that, i had flair and talent, admittedly i was a bit more of a berk, but i didn't want to walk into a media class and make action films...i was bright enough to realize that you're only as good as your script and equipment....seriously, shoot the fucking cunts.
rant over. degree good. signing off. salindrome x |
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| nostalgia |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|05:03 pm] |
i just spent about 20 minutes watching a video made on the 20th of december last year. i'm obsessed! i was off my face on mdma and i look so bloody happy.
part of me feels that i'm changing so much. in all honesty, i have the ability to be quite a nasty person...it's not that i ever think about it when i'm doing it, but i just sorta comes around. i realized this week that my nastiness is due to drinking, it really fucking is! if i was to go through all the things that i have ever done wrong, all the times that i have fucked people up, all the mistakes i have made, you can guarantee that i was drunk when these things took place. it's my fault for letting it go this far, and i'm so sorry that i didn't realize sooner. i'm taking responsibility now.
there are two people in particular that never, ever should have had to deal with my problems. one is unlikely to ever bother reading this journal, but i'm sorry anyway. the other spends every night sleeping next to me and knows more of me than i do. i'm sorry.
it's all part of the process.
if you ever see me drinking EVER again, just punch me to the fucking floor.
i'm going to finish tidying up now. it's like therapy, only more useful.
salamander
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| to pass the time |
[Dec. 13th, 2006|10:05 pm] |
until crystal returns from med research i shall mostly -
1.) eat wholegrain mustard on toast.
2.) watch doctors with her nan.
3.) lust over possible djing job in the kings (the existing dj asked me the other night!!!)
4.) do stupid things like polish on top of the wardrobe in a motherly fashion (because apparently santa will beat seven shades of shite out of me if the top of the wardrobe is dusty!)
5.) pick my nose.
6.) not drink ever again.
the end. |
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| marble madness |
[Dec. 5th, 2006|01:53 am] |
whoa nelly, due to rubbish weather i have mostly stayed at home and played on the playstation 2...i borrowed a game called marble madness that i used to play when i was young. it only has 6 levels and they each last up to a minute but i can't get past level 4. what a gunt! it also has games like paperboy on it, but that isn't nearly as fun as it was when i was 6.
i think i need a Wii...heh! i wonder how many people have been making those jokes? but honestly, i must-must play the new Zelda game and dive around the room doing the swishy sword thing....drool!
so i'm just sat in the room, picking my nose, wondering if it's worth going back to 'prince of persia T2T' yet or will i end up with major bruises from bashing myself in the head with the controller...winter always turns me into a rabid gamer. it's good though, because if you like gaming then you'll always feel like a kid on christmas day when you get the sweet-sweet pixels of joy.
i'm not going to be happy until god of war 2 comes out.
boo-ya! have a look behind this cut for one of my favorite pictures. i thought i'd lost it because i'm shite at keeping my photographs, but i did not! it took this about the same time last year...yum.
well, i think i've rattled on enough tonight. i slept all day today but i'm going to try and get some rest so that i'm not all rubbish tomorrow.
i feel much better.
betsy the gaming munchkin (with sore thumbs and a giant L on her head)
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| buh |
[Dec. 2nd, 2006|02:55 am] |
i got a new ear piercing today which is at the top because I HAVE NO EAR LOBES! heh! it's my first ear piercing since i was ten and i was told that to be an athlete i couldn't have pierced ears...ha!
i'm on new meds that have so far stopped me sleeping and having orgasms...bastardo! BUT!..BUT!...BUT!...i won't put on weight and i might get used to them. my doc said i can switch again if i can't cum anymore so i'm pretty happy. i hate the term 'cum'...and the spelling. i read too much erotic fiction...but it is funny.
when i joined the physicists i just wanted to be jarvis cocker and i mostly wore corduroy (is that the proper spelling...i did dictionary.com it but it doesn't look british enough...this is your fault jess!) i just saw him on the telly and he sucks..bah...TAKE THAT! were more interesting....
i think i'd better go listen to the divine comedy and model myself afer that neil twat now.
whoa, got sidetracked for ages.
s
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|04:08 pm] |
oh, and does anyone out there play squash?
fancy a game?
(be warned, i am rubbish and don't know all the rules yet.) |
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| BANG! and the dirt is gone! |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|04:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nowt | ] |
there's a really weird fuzzy feeling in me lately. i just can't seem to shake it off. it makes me feel pretty sick.
the gig at the point was amazing! there was a bit at the top of the stairs where 12 or so people were snorting off the banister. i got to pretend bum a member of the no-fit-state circus onstage while i was singing big tease and he was defying gravity!!
i was meant to go and see akira the don last night with hattie, she even sorted guestlist (cheers beth!) but instead i decided to come home early, then there was shouting, then apologising, then that stupid fuzzy feeling. i am rubbish. i just don't feel very useful right now.
i can't do the medical trial and that makes me angry.
on the plus side...
i have dishes that need washing.
bye.
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| all i want for christmas.... |
[Nov. 20th, 2006|08:45 pm] |
...is some self respect.
i've taken to dressing like a cunt. since jon moved to china i can't take his fur coat off, i even wore it to lidl today. i miss him stupidly, even though he's good at e-mailing. there's something so settling about being in the company of a poet, i'll miss beers, philosophy, and being out on the perve with him...let us hope he can stay out of the opium den and remain a respectable lecturer, instead of the heroin toking drunk that i know and love. on a lighter note, crystal has started writing frantically and has finally started let me read her work...it happens to be very bitter and funny. damn her and her talent for comedy! i'm fucking lucky to be around people that have a natural urge to create. al, tina, crystal, gwen..it really helps to have them around so that things don't feel too bleak...shame i can't get my head around creating anything new...
lately writing has been really tough. i want to write yet another kurt vonnegut inspired song and naturally gwen planted this seed but it was different with dresden disco, it was easy. as soon as i saw that photograph by richard peter sen i started writing, then gwen made me read slaughterhouse five and it clicked. it may be another few months before 'the church of god the utterly indifferent' can be heard...before then you may be enjoying 'asbo nation', if i can manage that minor task without getting distracted and making every other word 'cunt'.
i've taken over the role of manager of sorts. bostin. i spend all day sat at the computer sending whorey e-mails to promoters...actually, i've only been at it for one day but i am trying.
every day i think of little things that i want to put in my journal, but every time i write here i bore myself stupid and leave out the bits that i really want to remember...those bits that keep me alive.
i'm confused, i think it might be the change of season that's getting me down.
take care little things.
s
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|09:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | isobel campbell + mark lanegan | ] |
i'm all bunged up...everyone should come and mother me. yes. i think debi would be a good person to have around when you feel poorly...she could make great vegan soups and read to you. it really is lovely to see her again. we went around the other day to discuss plans for FAGOWEEN!!! bela emerson, gindrinker, the neck sucking booth and dj's cunt crackula and bodybag will be a few of the wonderful and exciting highlights. i'm already thinking of my costume, because everyone knows that dressing up is the best fun ever. i wish i had loads of play clothes like some of my mates did when i was a wee short little bastard of satan/child. i was thinking that i might go as the little girl from welcome to the dollhouse, but how am i going to find a romper suit to fit..and do i really want the whole world to stop thinking that i'm the hottest thing since fresh dog shit? (that was perhaps the least attractive phrase to use at this point.)
i've been trawling through some pictures that were taken this summer so i guess i'm gonna post my favorites when i can be arsed. here, have a looksie at me outside the new york deli...the root beer they sell gives me a stiffy.
a guy called ranjit came on to me last week, but he's actually really nice so we've become friends after a little initial awkwardness. despite being incredibly busy and ill i'm hoping to make the time to eat and watch jacob's ladder with him. it's odd that i've been accepted into the rummer family...i think everyone that works there is brilliant, and they put up with my rubbish drunken rubbishness when we're drinking after work. i sometimes think i'm a bit of a performing monkey.
i got in at seven this morning after sitting on the museum steps and talking to an immigrant that was trying to get back to poland. i wish how i could explain how i got there and how incredible the evening was, but i don't have the words for it.
i'm going to go now...i'd like a hot bath and a hug. take care pretty ones.
sal
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|05:28 pm] |
i should probably buy some more friends.
i took most of the week off college but missed very little work. bonus!
all this business that i must keep up with is slightly knackering and so my immune system has taken a dive. i've been suffering from constant headaches for the past week, next up to suffer are those oh-so-necessary tonsils. bastard.
i can afford to get a newspaper every day. i love reading over breakfast while everyone else is still in bed...coffee, cigarettes and the news...mmm! bring on the pipe and slippers!
as for the rest of life, it is most lovely. here is my picture of the moment...i would put it behind a cut but every time i've tried to do that lately it has buggered up and i'm too lazy to read the FAQ again. (such a retard!)
that be in a rowing boat.
go! |
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| dodgy things that creep around the motorway |
[Sep. 23rd, 2006|11:34 am] |
there was a girl at the bar last night with the worst teeth i have ever seen. she was shaking my hand a lot and telling me that i'm a good person. apparently she was brainwashed near sofia gardens into thinking that she shouldn't go out and enjoy life. her parents don't want to know her. she lives in a flat on her own. she watched her grandparents, her cousin and her brother die. she's very lonely. she wants a boyfriend and she's not sure if she's a lesbian. she asks the punters if they would like to drink with her but they look uneasy and make excuses. she says that she feels very lonely.
cherry noticed she smells like cheese.
barwork is hard to figure out. i laughed but it also killed me a little to see her.
she'll be back tonight.
i'll avoid her. |
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| you know the drill |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|01:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | noofterland | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | new | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fuck you and your fancy words - salvation H | ] |
today was college day number one...bit of a drag when you've hit twenty one and still have no education. well, it was my fault. i pulled up to dragsville on my bmx, listening to snake river conspiracy for extra teen movie value and posing like a motherfelcher, safe in the knowledge that i am the god of that place from now on and that all will cower beneath me. yes. it was a little surreal though, having to run the health and safety paperwork gauntlet and watching the stupids take twice as long doing so. but although the minor annoyances are present i am comforted by the fact that two years of checking out jailbait will result in university poon...a generally higher quality of window shopping is to be had in higher education (or so it seems!)
oh, and did you know that my college is actually in one of cardiff's many shanty towns...yes my friends I AM BEING EDUCATED IN THE GHETTO!! or at least thats what the cardiff massive want you to think...never fear, i shall be tagging up the place with my bitches on bikes before you can say 'middle class crunt'. WORD!
tomorrow i start my new job in the rummer tavern. that is correct...I AM JOB. not only that but for the next two months i'm going to be crystal's sugar daddy. ha! i'm actually going to be responsible.
well, enough for now. stay sober friends.
s. |
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